The one where you need a shortening of time...
Tegan’s gorgeous wedding boots from Corral Boots
I pressed send on my usual “3 Months to go, let’s do your paperwork!” email and my phone pretty much rang straight away. It was Thursday, June 11th.
Tegan and James’ wedding was scheduled for September 2020 out in Gordon Country, far from the Sunny Coast beach where they lived. It was going to be a weekend long celebration with family travelling from Melbourne to celebrate with them. Their dream wedding involved plenty of friends and family, camping and the odd pair of cowboy boots dotted around the dance floor.
Up until last Thursday everything had been going according to plan. Even with the shit show that was Coronavirus wreaking havoc with wedding plans all around Australia, Tegan and James were one of my few couples who had chosen to wait it out casually and not worry too much about the potential need to postpone.
Tegan was calling to ask about the possibility of getting married immediately. Her father had been admitted to hospital with advanced heart and kidney failure. All available medical treatments had been exhausted and he had requested to spend his final moments at his home in Noosa with family. It suddenly became pretty clear to Tegan and James that getting married in her father’s presence was more important than location, guest lists and wedding cake.
I’ll admit that I scrambled for a few seconds – we hadn’t done the NOIM, we hadn’t met to discuss the ceremony yet and I hadn’t even sent the couple questionnaire I use to gather all the juicy bits for their story. But this wasn’t about me. I knew it was possible to apply for a Shortening of Time from the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages but I hadn’t done it before. A quick phonecall to the registry and they explained the process and advised it would take between 24-48 hours to approve the application. Time we didn’t really have.
That same day, James and Tegan completed a NOIM and went to their local police station to have it witnessed. At 4pm (the Registry closes at 4:30pm) I was able to send the NOIM along with an email explaining the gravity of the situation, a short personally written request from Tegan explaining why it was so important to her, and an official letter from her Dad’s specialist confirming his health status.
We literally crossed our fingers. The next morning I politely gave the Registry Office an hour to start their day before calling to follow up. I was told it hadn’t been reviewed yet but amazingly, at 11:02am my inbox pinged with an email informing me that the Shortening of Time had been approved. Also, the non-refundable fee had been waived due to the circumstances surrounding the request.
My next challenge was to write a brief ceremony that wouldn’t tire John but still capture their love story while eluding the avalanche of grief that was hovering. I needed to say all the things without saying all of the things. As a celebrant with deep running feminist values, I rarely do a traditional “giving away” and tend to suggest an expression of general parent appreciation but this time was different. It would have been careless not to acknowledge the reason for this immediate marriage.
On Sunday, 14th June at 12pm, twenty guests assembled at the local Surf Club (it was still closed to the public but James’s parents knew some people). The windows were opened up to let the sound of the waves in and an aisle was created out of fairy lights. Tegan and John walked deliberately down the aisle together and I began the ceremony with an Acknowledgement of Country before reading a poem which Tegan and James had chosen.
The ceremony took less than ten minutes and it was incredibly emotional - punctuated with tears and soothed by sincere laughter. I was nervous, dropped my kindle and later on became self-conscious about the number of times my voice cracked. During the pauses, James’ granddad would cheer and clap because he and his wife (married 60 years they told me) were so happy to be attending the first wedding of their three grandchildren.
James and Tegan’s wedding was my 81st ceremony. The 80 weddings that came before are all filed away in my memory under their own moments of distinction. James and Tegan’s will be no exception. I will remember the sound James made when he saw Tegan enter the room and the depth of the hug his best man gave him in return. I will remember the look on Tegan’s face when I talked about the exact moment James remembers falling in love with her. I will remember the honour of asking Tegan’s dad for his blessing and I will remember how he proudly stood for the whole ceremony despite the chair provided for him. I will remember the beautiful boots Tegan and her bridesmaid wore (and I look forward to seeing them again in September). I will remember explaining to James’s grandparents what the Boomerang app is and showing them why it’s so much fun at weddings. I will remember all the parents proudly gathered around James and Tegan taking photos on their phone as they signed the marriage certificates. And I will also remember the poem we included and how it helped me to express my own wish for James and Tegan’s future together…
“Tegan and James, you have stood together in front of your family and friends today and made a commitment of forever to each other. There will be countless of unforgettable moments today. Cherish every single one of them and remember…love is the creator of memories. And memories are preserved in the re-telling. It is my hope that the story of your wedding today is one that you will repeat over and over again to each other because this is how you keep the details vivid and the memories strong. I am so pleased to be able to pronounce you husband and wife…. and now you may kiss!”
James & Tegan